A Man's Guide to Buying a Sex Toy

It’s getting to that time of year now where millions of bewildered men are wondering just what their other half would like for Valentine’s Day. They’ve finally realisted that the usual male staple of flowers (which makes a lady think you’ve done something wrong) and chocolate just won’t cut it any more. Gone are the days where men are rewarded with a blow job for just remembering, women these days have become more discerning, and if a recent survey is to be believed, then one in four men are going to buy their lady a Sex Toy this Valentine’s Day.

Now here’s the problem. When it comes to naughty things, men have one single problem. They tend to think of themselves. Look at it this way, a man buying lingerie thinks of one thing, will it turn me on? Very rare is a man who thinks to himself “Will she like it? Would she choose to wear it even if I’m not around? Would it be comfortable for her?” Now a Basque and thong with stockings is very sexy and pretty much guaranteed to make any man hard, but very few women would choose to wear that when nipping down to the supermarket to buy her weekly shopping.

Buying your lady a sex toy follows the exact same principle. What you would like to see your woman playing with, or wish to play with together, often isn’t exactly what she’d choose to play with when she’s by herself. There are 100s of different sex toy options out there, different shapes of sex toys, sizes, colours, materials and the task of choosing one for your lady is more daunting than you first believed.

Her first sex toy?

Think about it, is it her first sex toy? It may even be your lady’s first toy in which case, you need to be extra careful and something like the 35cm “The Fist” would likely scare her half to death. It is the same with any of the anal toys and things that realistically look like penises. Women may find them frightening, or perverted.

In fact, you might be wise to look for something that could pass as a massager, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand which is a great starters toy, used only externally, it’s great for stimulating the nipples, clit and any other erogenous zone.

Of course, your lady may have decided that she wanted a sex toy and is a little more open (or more likely, secretly already has at least one) in which case you could do a lot worse than look for a rabbit vibrator. These sex toys are bright, playful looking and since being made famous on Sex in the City, are more likely to be in a lady’s bedside drawer than any other in the world so it’s is a logical choice. Another good choice is something from the fun factory range. Again, they come in bright colours, aren’t too big and are waterproof so she can play in the shower or bath.

Is she a sex toy expert?

Is she someone whose knicker drawer makes you feel distinctly inadequate? First thing I’ll say is, don’t worry about it. Some women often joke that if a vibe could buy a round of drinks, then they’d have no need for a man in their life. This is plainly not true, and just because a woman loves her sex toys, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need or love you, or that she could easily replace you with a vibrating mass of plastic any easier than you could replace her with a blow up love doll or a Fleshlight.

Look for something a little different, something along the lines of the Tongue Joy which you play with together, or the Tongue Teaser, both of which offer different sensations than a regular vibe. Or push her boundaries a little, many women enjoy anal play, but make sure you know this to be true before you go ahead.

Of course, at the end of the day, you know your lady better than me, and I certainly couldn’t tell you exactly what every lady would like as every lady is different. I will say this though.

Spend time thinking about it, take your time and choose something you think she’ll like, not something you think you’d like to see her playing with.