For no discernible reason I decided this morning that the 19th of October 2010 would be the perfect date to launch ‘The Splashies’: the world’s only awards dedicated to very specific niches under the umbrella of ‘waterproof vibrators’ (pun intended).
So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the deserving winners of the first and more than likely last Splashies:

The Best Disguised Waterproof Vibrator:
For many of us it is imperative that our ‘implements of orgasmic joy’ are kept under wraps in order to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation at the hands of nosey friend or family member. There are however a number of sex toys out there which look so absurdly innocent that they can be kept in plain view without raising a single eyebrow.
The I Rub My Duckie was one of the bestselling sex toys of the last 2 years as a result of its inconspicuous disguise…but as a result of exposure and popularity is no longer the best option for those who want a covert waterproof vibrator, that accolade falls to….
I Rub My Penguin

Taking the I Rub My Duckie concept and re-packaging it as a downright adorable penguin, this inspired sex toy offers multi-speed vibration, a charming design and most importantly…a most convincing disguise. A worthy winner if ever there was one.
The Most Revolutionary Waterproof Vibrator:
The word ‘revolution’ is bandied about far too much in my opinion, as such this award is not only reserved for a sex toy which breaks with convention, but also literally revolves. Due to the very specific requirements stipulated for qualification as a nominee in this category there is quite literally only one possible winner…
Clit Spinner Dolphin

Not only is this fetching, 12 inch giant waterproof and dolphin inspired; but the clitoral stimulator twirls and rotates instead of vibrating. If you’re looking for a nautical alternative to a rabbit vibrator then this one of a kind clear vibrator is a sure-fire hit.
The Funkiest Waterproof Vibrator:
Who’s got the funk? When it comes to waterproof vibrators there are a few contenders: the Funky Massager for instance certainly has a funky name and the Rocks Off Groovy Chick certainly lives up to its name with G Spot stimulation and a dashing pink finish, but in my eyes the deserved victor simply has to be…
Wicked Stormy Lights

The Wicked Stormy Lights is a 8.75 inch pink, transparent, waterproof jelly vibrator- a collection of attributes which are pretty darn funky in their own right. In addition to these features, this funky sex toy is almost silent in operation, oh and fitted with a series of flashing lights! In my humble opinion, flashing lights make this disco themed sex toy the undisputable winner of the Funkiest Waterproof Vibrator Award.
The Most Flexible Waterproof Vibrator:
Flexibility is essential when it comes to sex toys: the ability to perform different functions with aplomb and also bend to ensure serious stimulation makes for a guaranteed pant-pleaser. In my eyes there is only one possible winner for this award…
Lady Lambada

This 9.5 inch waterproof vibrator is perfectly suited to solo play, foreplay, anal play…in fact all kinds of play, and thanks to its unique construction is quite simply one of the most bendy and malleable sex toys we’ve ever laid hands on. Once you’ve sculpted Lady Lambada into your chosen shape you can select your preferred intensity of vibration and go wild!
The Most Rock ‘n’ Roll Waterproof Vibrator:
As you may have guessed from my tipsily chosen and deed poll authorised name (see above – next to the admittedly rather pretentious thumbnail if you don’t know it), I am more than a little into rock: whether that be the music, the lifestyle, the confectionary or the naturally occurring aggregate of minerals (but not the wrestler). Considering my bias towards the rockier and rollier things in life, and the fact that I personally invented The Splashies: there simply had to be a Most Rock ‘n’ Roll Waterproof Vibrator Award.
Initially it was hard to pinpoint any particular vibrator which encapsulated the spirit of Rock ‘n’ Roll – there are a noticeable lack of leather clad waterproof vibrators. A little rummaging through the warehouse did however bring such items as the all metal Alumination,which is, well – all metal \m/…but no, that’s too tenuous. Similarly, the Flower Power Massager evoked images of Woodstock – but I couldn’t really have lived with myself if had I declared a vibrating flower the epitome of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Thankfully my blushes were spared by the downright majestic…
Slim Inked Vibe

Multi-speed vibration? Check.
Waterproof? Check.
Highly respected manufacturer? Check.
Absolutely awesome tattoo designs on the shaft? Check!
…I think you can see what swayed me here. That’s right, the Slim Inked Vibe by California Exotics are 6 inch, multi-speed, waterproof vibrators which are embellished with tattoo artwork. They look brilliant, they ‘get your rocks off’ and they possess almighty power – now that’s Rock ‘n’ Roll!
So, that was The Splashies- if you agree or disagree with my choice of winners, would like to suggest another series of awards or just fancy a chat about sex toys then fire me an email to jamie@bekinky.co.uk.